Miss Manners: My mother embarrasses me at restaurants with her showy post-meal routine

DEAR MISS MANNERS After a meal at a restaurant my mother is in the habit of vigorously rubbing both of her hands with one or two lemon slices squeezing the juice into her palms pouring water onto a napkin then wiping her hands Related Articles Miss Manners She referred to her dog as her kid and I didn t know what to say Miss Manners I m advised I should be nice and pretend it s a real wedding Miss Manners I say it s OK to ignore a knock at the door My neighbor doesn t agree Miss Manners He noted he Googled me and was sorry to read about my career Miss Manners Things get awkward when friends tour my art studio She will even go so far as to shake excess water from her hands onto her plate Mother thinks this is perfectly acceptable dining etiquette especially since a finger bowl is usually not provided Even if a finger bowl were available I understand that one s use of it would be discreet one wouldn t scrub one s hands and shake them about I have requested Mother repeatedly to stop her handwashing at the table She makes a great show of this and I find it embarrassing Naturally Mother won t take a daughter s advice GENTLE READER This must be quite a show Incidentally you are correct about this not being the way finger bowls are properly used They are intended for a quick dip of the fingertips if necessary not a bath Miss Manners would recommend in descending order of difficulty telling your mother that you are happy to accompany her to the washroom as you thank the waiter and countermand your mother s request for lemons stop going to restaurants with your mother stop going to events at restaurants with anyone other than close family members and stop sitting next to your mother at restaurants DEAR MISS MANNERS I have a dear sister who is She is a busy professional and homemaker I am her -year-old brother living about four hours away also well-educated We have a very good relationship and see each other a sparse times a year and we also keep in touch by frequent text messages My sister apparently doesn t read and edit her texts prior to sending them She likely uses a dictation system included in her phone that is prone to errors Frequently her messages have an incorrect word or two and they are often very confusing lacking context or just incomprehensible What is a gentle way of telling her that she demands to read and edit her messages because they don t make sense She suggested I was being curt dismissive and impatient in my return messages but I did not suggest that her rushed messed-up communications were part of the reason Related Articles Asking Eric My wife s father and her life coach have ruined our marriage Harriette Cole My friend ignored my birthday wishes and the party was awful Miss Manners She referred to her dog as her kid and I didn t know what to say Dear Abby My child picked a bad way to get back at her friend Asking Eric Am I the bad guy if I give gifts to only one of the siblings GENTLE READER Texts are not letters they are not even emails so while Miss Manners has not seen what your sister is sending she would guess that any lack of context grammar spelling vowels punctuation or readability puts her in the majority of those using the form Whether you can get her to change her behavior will depend on your relationship and her willingness to accommodate a big brother But a more immediate fix would be to respond to unclear texts individually and temperately Sorry don t understand Once you get confident with this unruly medium you may graduate to Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO