Harriette Cole: He’s putting my photos online under his name
DEAR HARRIETTE I in the last few days joined a photography club because I required to meet other photographers improve my skills and share my work in a supportive habitat Related Articles Harriette Cole I don t want my book club to think I m uptight Harriette Cole My friend ignored my birthday wishes and the party was awful Harriette Cole My friends say I should act unimpressed by the men I date Harriette Cole My career just took off and I don t know if I should follow my fiancee Harriette Cole My date s phone call upset me so much that I had to go home Most of members are great but one person has started posting certain of my photos online without my permission and giving himself credit as the photographer It makes me feel frustrated and disrespected and I m not sure how to handle it without creating conflict within the group I don t want to come across as overly sensitive but I want my work to be respected and credited properly I ve tried subtly reminding him or commenting on posts but it hasn t seemed to stop the behavior I feel anxious every time I bring new photos to the club wondering if they ll appear online under someone else s name It s starting to make me dread sharing my work which is supposed to be one of the main joys of joining the club I also feel like my creativity and effort aren t being valued which is really discouraging How can I approach this situation in a way that protects my work maintains my relationships within the club and sets clear boundaries Spanning the Line DEAR BRIDGING THE LINE Now is the time to be direct Posting your work as their own is plagiarism plain and simple Go to the group at the next meeting and complain publicly Ask how it could have happened that the art you brought to show the group would be posted by someone else without crediting you Do not bring any more work to the group until this issue is handled Address it head-on DEAR HARRIETTE My roommate not long ago questioned me if her boyfriend could stay at our apartment for a whole week and I agreed at the time because I didn t want to make things awkward or seem unaccommodating Now that I ve thought it over I m really regretting saying yes I m worried about having someone in our shared space for that long and I m not sure I m confident with it I also realize that our apartment is small and having a third person around constantly could disrupt my routines privacy and sense of personal space I feel stuck because I already announced yes but I also don t want to feel trapped or stressed during the week I m anxious about bringing it up now because I don t want my roommate to be upset or feel like I m being unreasonable At the same time I need to prioritize my own comfort and mental well-being Can I go back and change my answer or would that be unfair to my roommate How can I approach this in a way that respects both my boundaries and our friendship Third Wheel Related Articles Dear Abby I don t want to be a jerk but my fiancee has one flaw Asking Eric Why is my daughter so opposed to my new job Harriette Cole I don t want my book club to think I m uptight Miss Manners My mother embarrasses me at restaurants with her showy post-meal routine Dear Abby My wife says being forced to celebrate Christmas will end our marriage DEAR THIRD WHEEL Tell your roommate you need to have a talk with her Explain that while you agreed for her boyfriend to stay for a week at your place it is making you uncomfortable You are concerned about being cramped While it may not work to rescind the invitation make it clear that you need him to respect your privacy be as neat as accomplishable and not stay longer than agreed Next time take a breath and assess a request diligently before agreeing to it Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions toaskharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO
